**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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