Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
