I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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