put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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