And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
