if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
