I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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