you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
