If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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