I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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