I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
