I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Randomize