you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize