After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
