Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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