How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
