he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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