Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
