he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
