my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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