1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I am mentally ready for anal.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
