Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
