fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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