Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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