just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
