If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
