she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
