ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Randomize
