why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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