Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
