yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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