I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
