He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
