STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize