barbara walters just said penis...
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
