Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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