C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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