her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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