you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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