So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
