I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
