How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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