think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
