If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
