i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
