I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i will never coherently bang her
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
