sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
