omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
