I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
