I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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