hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
