fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
