Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
