if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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