you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
