I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize