so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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