hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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