my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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