If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
