Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
