i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
