I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
