Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
