that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
