ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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