There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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