You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
