I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Ladies don't puke and tell
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
