i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
